After a series of four workshops with high school students earlier this year where we taught them “leadership skills” like deep and reflective listening, empathy, elevating marginalized and quieter voices, and co-creating solutions to problems together, we received lots of positive feedback from the students on how it impacted them. Among other comments, one student said:

“Grateful to be a part of a community that has space for my strengths and individuality.”

In fact, this reflection of one student’s experience reflects larger studies done with tweens, teens, and college students too. Researchers have found that when students bring a grateful mindset to a group, they feel a greater sense of connectedness and they feel seen, heard, and valued.¹ This has larger ripple effects on their physical and mental well-being as well. They are far less likely to have headaches, stomach aches and runny noses. And also, far less likely to struggle with anxiety and depression. They are more likely to feel a sense of belonging at school and have healthy relationships. This can contribute directly to their academic success. The benefits are equally powerful for younger children and adults as well. 

This holiday is an ideal time to model gratitude for all of those present around your table. Though you may gather with extended family or friends who hold differing worldviews, this is the time to come together to be grateful for the many ways we are connected and the many ways we are blessed. Focusing on our connections and the best of each individual around our table makes feeling genuine gratitude possible.

So if gratitude is so good for our well-being and our children’s, why don’t we embrace gratitude and practice it like we would make a point of doing physical exercise each day or taking a vitamin every evening for our health? A dose of gratitude per day might just keep the doctor away! Perhaps because it seems too simple or too good to be true, we don’t make a point of it. Yet, our mindset determines how we make meaning of everyday circumstances and challenges. If we approach a problem with gratitude — that we can learn and grow from it — , surely we’ll approach that problem differently — with an open mind and an open heart — than if we bring a blaming mindset or an annoyed or angry perspective.

Once a year on the Thanksgiving holiday, many of us in the United States gather around a feast with family or friends and give thanks for the harvest and the blessings in our lives. So why not use this already-infused-with-gratitude event to kickstart a year of gratitude in your family’s life to reap all of the well-being benefits that come along with it?

Here are some ideas backed by research on how we might create a gratitude habit:

1. Observe! 

Feelings… Take time to observe when you are feeling gratitude and what specifically created that feeling. Then ask: How can you create a regular opportunity for that activity or experience to help generate more gratitude? Make sure you note the smallest aspect of the action that created gratitude. In other words, you don’t have to host a family feast to experience gratitude. What about your time together created gratitude? Was it the connection? How could you create connection daily? Did it involve a prayer, poem, or spoken words of gratitude? How could you speak words of gratitude daily? 

Media Impact and Feelings… Take time to observe your media habits. Whether its radio, books, television, streaming content, or social media, all of these inputs have an impact on your thinking and feeling during a given day. Note how you feel right AFTER you’ve experienced that media. Are you grumpy, agitated, sad, worried, or angry? Or do you feel inspired and energized? How can you minimize the sources that cause you angst and maximize the sources that leave you energized?

2. Share your Observations with Family Members and Gather their Input

Feelings… You might offer, “I’ve noticed that…” and share your reflections on how you felt during and after Thanksgiving and when you noticed the benefits of gratitude. Ask your family members when they experienced gratitude and how it made them feel.

Media Impact and Feelings… Also, take time to ask about media. Perhaps, encourage family members to observe their feelings when they take in various forms of media during the following day. Report back to one another and share in the reflections. Do you have similar or different experiences? How can you learn from those experiences to build your gratitude practice (and minimize media that leaves family members feeling anxious, worried, angry or depressed)?

3. Decide on What Practice Feels Like It Works with your Family Flow and Co-create an Intention

After you share your reflections on experiences with family and experiences with Thanksgiving experiencing gratitude, consider together how you might create more of that in your every day life and specifically related to media content and intake. Consider together: what daily simple practice could we engage in to generate gratitude? Then, co-create an intention to help one another remember to do it each day.

2. Schedule your Daily Dose.

We don’t tend to add new routines or practices without scheduling them in our very busy lives. So decide how you will get your daily dose and what time of day and then, schedule it! It could be you include a family reflection in your morning routine during breakfast to set a tone for the day. It could be you begin to reflect together before you eat dinner on the abundance in your life including the food on your table. Or you might decide a private practice of journaling on what you’re grateful for before bedtime will help you, as a parent, model the grateful mindset your children will learn and benefit from.

With media, you might become intentional about unfollowing some negativity or fear-producing feeds and following others that you know will be life-giving. Instead of a negative news source, find a positive one or follow another topic that gives you or your children a breath of fresh air: nature, people doing good, animals, gardening, art, cooking or others.

In times of uncertainty or worry, gratitude is one important key to nourishing your mental health daily. This week offers a chance to get started. Reflecting on and learning from your experience of gratitude on Thanksgiving can help you extend those feelings and the well-being that goes with it throughout the year. 

After twelve years of Confident Parents, Confident Kids, we are grateful every time we publish an article for you as readers, followers, and contributors to this conversation that elevates one of the most meaningful roles we play in our lives as parents and caregivers! We appreciate you!

References:

Froh, J.J., & Bono, G. (2014). Making Grateful Kids; The Science of Building Character. West Conshohocken, PA: Templeton Press.