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And How Are You Caring for your own Winter Heart?

With winter weather advisories becoming a daily event, we are at the apex of the winter season. And though this winter has arrived late for many, it is now giving its full performance…sub-zero wind chills, icy roads, and snow showers. I’m even hearing from my friends and colleagues in Texas and Florida that they are experiencing unprecedented cold temperatures. Yet, we press on with school work and work deadlines. Often, the intensity of school and work feel like a fight in the winter as we have to work against our instinctual tendencies to hibernate or participate in hygge, the cozy conditions we’ve learned are traditional in Denmark and Norway, in order to meet expectations. The physical fight includes the layering of clothing necessary to prepare to go outside for ourselves and of course, the social emotional fight we may have to engage in with our children or teens. “You need the heavy coat. No, that one! You need gloves. You have to wear a hat.” Need I go on? There’s also the physical push through the wind, snow, and ice when outside, the dark beginning and ending of our work days, and the moisture draining heat being pumped into indoor environments all day long. For some reason, each year I seem to need to review why I am feeling so tired. This is why.

Our children and teens are feeling the struggle. And because our children can be naturally more present to the rhythms their bodies feel and require, they can get cranky and upset fast and easily. So in addition to the many other ways we are fighting to keep ourselves in the school/work game, we have to contend with grumpy family members who just aren’t feeling it. All this is a call to find times to renew by embracing the season and feeling the relief of aligning with winter’s rhythms. Yesterday, I texted a friend around 5:00 p.m. when the sun was dipping low and the dark closing in and she said she was cozy in bed after meeting a huge work deadline. My immediate thought was: “she’s got the right idea!” 

In our New Year’s Parenting Dialogue on Friday – thank you to many who attended live! – Shannon Wanless talked about being intentional about creating moments of joy… inserting them, taking them, making them whenever she sees a window of opportunity. In the winter season, it seems that looking for ways to lean into our natural inclinations for rest, for care, for gentleness feel like the way to do that. What does this look like? It’s certainly unique to each family but here are a few ideas.

With young children, getting outdoors to play in the snow can be a wonderful way to spend a wintery day. But when temperatures dip into the teens and below, the risk of frostbite is too high so the indoors is our best option. If family members are wanting more quiet amidst wiggly, energetic bodies, getting those wiggles out with a dance party break or a vigorous game of hide and go seek will make a difference. Nothing gets a young child in the flow of play like water play whether in a warm bath or sink. Include plenty of bowls, spoons, and either kitchen tools or bath toys to pretend, funnel, and sift. On dry land, create worlds by building cities, farms, or designing gardens with households objects, toys, books, construction paper, paper towel tubes, and drawings. 

With all ages, when you are all ready to slow down, read together. Building a fire or lighting a candle sends a beacon of light in your home to gather around. Discover books together or read separately warmed by the same light.

Care for your backyard animals and mindfully observe them. Lay out birdseed, corn, berries, and fresh water for squirrels and birds and peek out of your windows together to watch the beautiful creatures who come to your feeders. Here are some easy tips from the Humane Society on ways to safely feed birds and squirrels that are most helpful during the winter months.

Do art. Laying out art materials, sketch pads, markers, coloring pencils, paints, and journals for writing can also captivate all ages and get them into the flow of creating. Need inspiration for what to draw or make? Look through the past year’s photos and see if they provide ideas.

Allow for rest. I notice my son falling asleep after a full day of school and play rehearsal. It’s not a matter of avoiding homework. He’s truly exhausted. And most nights, we have to wake him to get his work accomplished. But on occasion – on lighter nights – we leave him alone and let him rest. Where are the small windows that you can allow for rest and rejuvenation amidst the press of the season?

Take care of your own winter heart. As the trees are laid bare, their warmth, light and life is far inside their core — their trunk. So too, we can be laid bare in the wintertime and that can make us feel uncomfortably vulnerable. We may fear the darkness. As adults, we may claim we no longer fear the dark. But when I have honest and vulnerable conversations with family and friends, they admit that winter poses a unique kind of challenge. Many fear that if they fall into the winter rhythms, they may sink into sadness and depression and never emerge. Yet, by the very definition, rhythms change, seasons change. If we spend our time moving quickly to escape the sadness, bareness, or vulnerability we may feel in the cold of winter, we do not feel through to the other side. And that repression can harm ourselves or turn outward and harm others. So how can you take care of your winter heart?

One of my favorite authors – Mark Nepo – offers these questions in the book Seven Thousand Ways to Listen; Staying Close to What Is Sacred (pg. 49-50). I offer them to you to ask of yourself and reflect on to give you a head start in taking care of your own winter heart.

– Are you holding your breath anywhere in your life?

– What will it take for you to breath more deeply again?

– How goes your practice of emptying and opening, your practice of staying a beginner?

– Are you keeping what is true before you?

– How are you listening for the learnings you were born with?

– Is there a change you are resisting or not listening to?

– Are you letting the injury or limitation of one thing limit all things?

– Are you listening to the part of your life that is trying to wake?

– What old definition or plan can you put down that will return you to the freshness of now?

– Can you endure your uncertainty until it shows you another, deeper way?

May you find ways to engage in the rhythms of the winter season to feel the renewal that is possible as it allows us to get quiet, go within, and discover the seeds of hope there.

At the heart of every revolutionary is a person who sees from a different perspective, often a larger perspective. Instead of following rules and other people’s expectations, they actively set out to change the rules and expectations. I’ve written about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the visionary, the peacemaker, and the courageous. This year, I am reflecting on Dr. King, the nonviolent revolutionary and what insights we can learn today from him in our roles as parents, caregivers, and changemakers.

There was much talk of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi’s nonviolent protests in India and their ability to change the treatment of the poorest citizens named “untouchables” in America’s South in the early to mid 1950s. With many years already spent in laying the seeds of change and small scale efforts, Dr. King’s leadership of the civil rights movement was beginning to take its first large scale steps. And according to Harris Wofford’s “Of Kennedys and Kings: Making Sense of the Sixties,” Dr. King credits a quiet seamstress as the catalyst for the large scale civil disobedience that followed.¹ Rosa Parks claims she got on the bus with the same intention she had every other day of her life – to go home from work to be with her family. But that fateful day when she was told to go the back of the bus, a flame grew within her of courage and conviction. “It’s a sudden spark like that that starts great conflagrations — when the tinder is ready,” reflected Dr. King later (p. 114). What followed – led by Dr. King and the Women’s Political Council – was the Montgomery, Alabama Bus Boycott planned originally as a one-day event. This daylong protest expanded into a twelve-month protest involving 50,000 souls.²

Before the bus boycotts began, they agreed to nonviolent principles and also, to three basic demands for change including: 1. courteous treatment by bus operators, 2. seating on a first come, first serve basis, and 3. Black American bus operators were employed for predominantly Black-populated routes.

Dr. King led the civil rights movement in part through his wise, charismatic oration and stirred crowds to visionary, aligned action. Here’s what he told the packed Church the day after Rosa was arrested for her civil disobedience and the evening before the bus boycott began:

…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, and pray for them that despitefully use you. If we fail to do this our protest will end up as a meaningless drama on the stage of history. If you will protest courageously, and yet with dignity and love, when the history books are written in future generations, the historians will have to pause and say, “There lived a great people — a black people — who injected new meaning and dignity into the veins of civilization (p. 115).“

– Harris Wofford, “Of Kennedys and Kings; Making Sense of the Sixties”

Nonviolent protest was to be the differentiator, the powerful lever of change. And it worked. The Montgomery Bus Boycotts resulted in the Supreme Court ruling that segregation on public buses was unconstitutional. Why did it work? We know their opposition would use violent force. Yet with enough people to unite and show a healthier way society can live, that force overpowers old, outdated beliefs and practices. Evolution continues to advance.

As a changemaker, we can learn, model and teach our children the discipline of nonviolent communication. We can use nonviolent language (non-aggressive, non-blaming yet assertive and responsible) in our adult relationships. These skills can prepare them for uncertainty, injustice, and hardship like no other set of practices. These tools ensure that they can navigate relationships in healthy, generative ways and when they meet destructive forces can, with confidence, move out of harm’s way or refuse to move or participate in a way that changes the dynamic but does not harm individuals. 

Can you imagine the resistance to Dr. King’s radical idea? If you followed him, you might be tear-gassed, you may be shot, dragged to prison, beaten in any number of ways. How might you be convinced that the means of nonviolent protests is worth the suffering for the opportunity of a sea change? This applies to family life too – I promise! Let’s look at power versus force from a book by the same name…³

If we analyze the nature of force, it becomes readily apparent why it must always succumb to power; this is in accordance with the basic laws of physics. Because force automatically creates counter-force, its effect limited by definition. Power, on the other hand, is still. It’s like a standing field that doesn’t move…Power gives life and energy — force takes these away. (p. 132).

David Hawkins, MD, PhD, “Power Versus Force; The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior”

Force creates a winner and loser. Power retains agency – your own and others. Perhaps now you see the many implications for your parenting and indeed for any relationship you value in your life. Here are a few reflections Dr. King might whisper for you to consider:

– When do you empower your children or teens to make choices, to learn how to do tasks for themselves, to co-create rules and routines together? When do you teach, model, and practice healthy ways to resolve conflicts building skills?

– When do you use force? Do you punish? Do you act in ways that intend to hurt? How does it make you feel? How does your child feel? Do you experience counter-force? What does your child learn from those interactions? Are there alternative ways of teaching, modeling, practicing and coaching the positive behaviors you want to see you might consider?

–How do you own your role in the creation of hurt or harm even if inadvertant? How do you voice that role with those harmed? And how do you courageously repair harm when needed?

– How do you refuse to participate or go your own pathway when harm can come to you, your children, or others by participating? How do you make moral decisions that fly in the face of social expectations in order to preserve dignity, belonging, and well-being? How do you align with communities who share the values in valuing human dignity?

–How do you, as Dr. King did, share stories with your family of people you admire who were able to speak truth to power or to act in ways that created justice and a better, healthier, more equitable way forward?

These are key models of skills for your children and teens. And they are watching and learning from you!

There’s a reason the book “Nonviolent Communication; A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg is in its third edition.⁴ It lays out in simple terms the ways in which we can communicate assertively, kindly, and firmly to keep our relationships healthy and generative. Often, these ways of communicating are not only not intuitive but they require focused practice and discipline. That’s because we have largely been raised in a “force” paradigm so that aggression – passive or active – is a regular part of the language we are accustomed to. Yet, these changes can make a significant impact in our relationships. Here are a few of the key principles Rosenberg lays out with my own adaptations for parents and caregivers.

1. Observe instead of evaluate.

It’s been said that observation versus judgement is the highest form of human intelligence. And if you’ve practiced mindfulness in any form, you have practice in non-judgmental observation. Have you ever spied an unsafe or problematic behavior in your child and merely stated that you notice it? If you have, you’ll note that if your child is aware that what they are doing is unsafe or inappropriate, they are likely to turn around the behavior with your simple observation only.

To turnaround behavior:

“I notice it’s dinnertime and you haven’t started on homework.”

“I notice the garbage is full.”

To reinforce behavior:

“I notice you got your homework done before dinner.”

“I notice you made your bed this morning.”

“I notice you were ready and on time!”

This can work with any family member of course, not just in the parent-child role.

2. Express feelings and needs.

Though both of these may sound easy, they tend to offer the greatest challenge. The reason is that each place the owner of the feelings and needs in a place of vulnerability. Yet that is precisely the stance necessary in order to move a conflict forward in a healthy way. If you are arguing with someone including your child, they can become fearful or suspicious if they feel your anger or anxiousness but do not have the full insight from you to explain and understand your inner state. Here’s how you might express yourself:

“I’m feeling intensely frustrated with… myself, the situation. I feel helpless too.”

“I need to gain more of a sense of control.” Or “I need to pause to calm my insides.”

3. Take responsibility for our own feelings and role.

This can be the vital distinction between healthy relationships and enmeshed or co-dependent relationships. In taking responsibility, we avoid the pitfall we are susceptible to of projecting our own feelings on another’s heart when we solely own our inner state and role. We offer our loved ones agency when we approach with curiosity but not assumption about their feelings and needs. And we avoid the blame game (which automatically creates a “force” dynamic) when we own our role in a problem and not any other part of the problem. If taking responsibility for our part (and if we are engaged in a conflict, we always play a part. It takes two after all.), then we open the door to the other to take their own responsibility for their feelings and role. Rosenberg writes about emotional slavery versus emotional liberation in the following ways:

1. Emotional slavery. We feel responsible for other people’s feelings.
2. Stepping toward liberation – We feel anger to free from being responsible for other’s feelings. If we allow, accept, and honor this feeling, we can achieve…
3. Emotional liberation – when we take responsibility for only our own intentions and actions.

4. Request honesty and “that which would enrich life.”

Whether in conflict with a child, a partner, a co-worker or a friend, after we’ve owned our feelings and needs, we can ask for honesty from them. How are they feeling? What is their role? What responsibility can they take? Without honesty, it can leave us stuck swirling in the problem without the heart information to move ahead, to mend, to heal. We have a right to ask our intimate others – how can we proceed in a way that enriches our lives collectively?

Sometimes this honesty can only be brought about when we ensure the other that unconditional love is present. Our children must hear: “I love you no matter what.” Isn’t that what Dr. King was insisting of the congregation before they not only inconvenienced their daily lives but literally put themselves and their families in mortal danger?

This is one of the many lessons essential to understanding how to raise confident kids by acting as confident parents that Dr. King and the civil rights movement continue to teach us. Thank you, Dr. King, Rosa Parks, and the many others who courageously demonstrated a better way of living.

References:

1. Wofford, H. (1980). Of Kennedys and Kings; Making Sense of the Sixties. Pittsburgh, PA: University of Pittsburgh Press.
2. History.com. Montgomery Bus Boycott. Retrieved on 1-12-23: https://www.history.com/topics/black-history/montgomery-bus-boycott
3. Hawkins, D.R. (2002). Power Versus Force; The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House Inc.
4. Rosenberg, M.B. (2015). Nonviolent Communication; A Language of Life. Encinitas, CA: Puddle Dancer Press.

Further Reading:

One of Confident Parents most popular articles of all time… nonviolent ways to deal with misbehavior: 50 Constructive Alternatives to Detention or Punishment by Jennifer Miller, CPCK

From Dr. King’s Sermon “The Mastery of Fear,” What Can We Learn Today? by Jennifer Miller, CPCK

Today We Hear the Call of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. by Jennifer Miller, CPCK

Differences Do Matter — Why Talking About Them Helps Us Raise Compassionate Kids? By Shuana Tominey, CPCK

How Can We, As Parents, Live the Values of Martin Luther King Jr.? by Jennifer Miller, CPCK

Updated and adapted from original published January, 2023.

Set your parenting intentions for the new year!

Thank you to the many who have already signed up! This is going to be a wonderful chance to reflect on the many challenges we face as parents and how we can meet them with agency and skill — and support one another in doing it!

Last chance for sign ups – Free! Hope to see you there.

This Friday, January 12, 2024 at 1:00 pm EST/12 pm CT/10 am PT

Sign up on the form below free and we’ll send you the Zoom link to join! We’ll be discussing the year’s hottest topics related to parenting children and teens and we’ll take your questions too. Join Jennifer Miller, Jason Miller, Mike Wilson, and Shannon Wanless and gain insights to seed your ideas for the coming year. We’ll be sure at the end to give you time to set your own intentions based on any ideas and inspiration you’ve discovered with us!

We hope to see you Friday!

How Can the Way that You Show Up for Your Family Become a Priority?

Extra late nights studying and writing papers have become a nightly gig for our high school student as extracurriculars fill after school time. For us, work deadlines loom, meetings are stacked up before break, and the daily list of gift buying, wrapping, and generally preparing for the holidays ahead keep all of us on hyperdrive in December. During a meeting at my son’s school today, I heard just how many people were home sick – a lot! Staff were talking about family coming in to town soon and how much they had to finish up before any celebrating could begin. It’s crunch time and it can wear us down even before we make it to the festivities.

When my son was in second grade in this time leading up to winter break, I recall he burst into tears as his friends waited at our door to play. He had fallen up our stairs and gashed his shin on the metal rims of the hall steps. I plopped on the floor to comfort him and as he turned to me, he said, “Mom, you told me to hurry.” Why? Why did he need to hurry? In my mind, I had a million tasks to accomplish including facilitating his tasks – homework, dinner, and holiday preparations. I had thought it could be good for him to get outside and run around with his pals for a short time. But I was pressuring him to hurry up and why? Quick, go examine bugs under the rocks?! As he ran out and the door shut, I noticed the quiet in our house and really stopped for the first time. What was I doing?

With the holiday season upon us – no matter what holiday you are celebrating – you may be feeling similarly – fully in the throes of too much to do with too little time. And the knot in your tummy may be growing as mine has been. In a time when I want to produce joy for my family, I realize I am a lesser version of what I can be because of stress. I know I will get to this stressed- out place well before the holidays happen. And somehow I feel powerless to stop it. There’s still work to get accomplished before taking time off. There’s still the same amount of presents to buy for others (and actually, more as E’s friends and connections grow). There’s still cookies to bake, decorations to hang, and packages to send.

And so I write this post to help myself as much as you think about and deal with the situation we find ourselves in. In the very midst of the chaos, how can we keep our calm center? And how can we recall that our state of mind and being will impact the way others experience our celebrations together? Our stress will show. And whether we like or not, it’s contagious. It spreads like a virus and others get snappy and agitated – not conducive attitudes for cooperation more less jubilation.

Whether you are celebrating Hannukah, Christmas or Kwanzaa, all of the major holidays this season celebrate light in the darkness. And that’s the gift I most want to give my family and the one I think they will appreciate beyond the “stuff.” Yes, I’ll bring gifts. But more importantly, I am setting an intention to prepare myself for the experience of celebrating with family and friends. I plan to deck our halls with a feeling of peace and joy and appreciation for our abundance. And I know that has to begin with me. Here are a few things I plan to do that, maybe, you’ll consider for yourself.

Engage in deep breathing each day. I was in the habit of taking ten deep breaths before I launched into work each morning but my routine fell away as the season crowded my moments. So I plan to return to this practice to set a tone for my day.

Get exercise and fresh air. The routine of breathing outside and getting to the gym could easily also fall away with the season. But I know these are the activities that keep me centered, focused and feeling resilient. So I plan to make special arrangements while my son is home over the extended break so that I am sure to keep my routines sacred for the benefit of my whole family.

Mentally prepare before events. My sparkling outfit is not as important as the demeanor, the tone, or the mood I bring to any celebration. Whether it’s in my own home, at a friend’s house, or in a restaurant, the way I engage with others matters greatly. It can mean the difference between really connecting or “phoning it in” without true interchange. There may be individuals that you celebrate with only one time a year. This is that moment, that unique opportunity to bring your focused attention to them. I will set my own intention to focus on the present before I go so that when I arrive, I am ready to fully engage with whoever comes my way. I’ll stop and take a pause before leaving the house or answering the doorbell. This small step can have a ripple effect on my own and my family’s experience of the holidays. I know this will set an example and tone for my child. I notice when I’m stressed, he’s stressed. But when I’m calm and engaging with others, he does the same.

Set goals for connection. When you go to a party, you likely anticipate who you’ll see. Sometimes that anticipation creates anxiety if you’ve had challenges with individuals in the past or if those individuals view you in ways that you do not view yourself. Those interactions can be opportunities for your own growth in social and emotional competence. Instead of dreading those who challenge you, ask yourself three important questions.

• What can I learn from this individual who challenges me?
• How can I begin to understand their perspective and feel compassion for them?
• How do I want to show up in that conversation?

I know that if I model curiosity and compassion, that will have a direct impact on how my child interacts with others. I want to leave a party feeling like I know more about the individuals that I met than I did when walking into the room. And what if I also learned more about myself by attempting to relinquish worries about what I’m saying and what messages I’m communicating about my life but focus on learning about others, finding common ground and sharing my ability to be empathetic and show care?

Insert mindfulness rituals into your gatherings. We are so looking forward to a quiet evening with dear friends to share in a quiet sacred ritual of burning evergreens in a home fire to recognize the passing from light to darkness on the shortest day of the year, the winter solstice. We include a guided meditation/visualization that children and teens can join in on and reflective journaling to prompt reflections too. Consider how you might include your own mindfulness practices into your celebrations. Perhaps it’s reading aloud a passage or a poem you are inspired by? Or maybe you take time as a family to take three deep breaths before eating a meal? You don’t have to fit in your own stress management strategies around the edges of the holiday. Find ways to include it and it will assist all members in being focused and present with one another.

Say “no” when it’s too much. Instead of cramming each activity into every space of time in the few weeks left in the year, consider what might be too much. Have you accounted for quiet rest time? Have you considered how the pace will impact family members? We rarely plan our schedules for our mental well-being but particularly in this season of over-commitment, it can be worth asking, “What do we really want or need to do?” “When can we get in rest time?” and “Are there plans we need to say “no” to?

Express gratitude daily. The holiday season is a time of high contrasts – tremendous sorrow missing loved ones that have passed on or reflecting upon our tough circumstances and then, also feeling the magic, imagination, and sheer bliss of children’s experience of the traditions surrounding the holidays. It’s an emotional time. So it requires us to become more planful about our big emotions. One way to balance out our adult angst is to express gratitude with our children daily. Whether you mention your gratitude over breakfast, during the ride home from school or at bedtime, kids will benefit by actively appreciating all that they have. And you will benefit by recognizing the goodness in your life. It will assist you as you set a tone with your family.

Carving out time and space for your mental well-being may seem like another “to do” to add to the list. But consider the fact that paying attention to the tone of your family and setting an example will give you energy and motivation as you gently experience your days. The gift of your attention certainly is one of the most important for your children and indeed, your whole family. Consider how you might deck your halls with psychological well-being this season!

Happy holidays!

Adapted from the original, published on December 16, 2016.

This is a Confident Parents’ favorite already viewed by many this season.

Because of the numerous holidays celebrated through the fall and winter months, it is an ideal time to discuss how people celebrate around the world – both the uniqueness of traditions and also the many commonalities. I was struck by the number of similar themes and symbols when I did the research for the following world holiday facts. Most notably, the major holidays celebrate light in the darkness, show gratitude for food, family and life and pause for reflection or prayer. I was so enriched by learning about the beautiful traditions of celebrations around the world. I hope you will take a moment to share these with your family.

For any families who are living with war or violence and fear, we wish them light in the darkness and peace in days to come.

Hanukkah
Cultural or Religious Origin: Judaism
Purpose: To celebrate a miracle that one day’s worth of oil lasted for eight days in the temple.
Symbols/Practices: For eight days, Jews light a special candleholder called a menorah.
Traditions: On Hanukkah, many Jews also eat special potato pancakes called latkes, sing songs, and spin a top called a dreidel to win chocolate coins, nuts or raisins. Families also give one gift each of the eight days.
http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday7.htm

Kwanzaa
Cultural or Religious Origin: African-American
Purpose: Started in the United States to celebrate African heritage for seven days based on African harvest festivals and focused on seven African principles including family life and unity. The name means “first fruits” in Swahili.
Symbols/Practices: Participants wear ceremonial clothing and decorate with fruits and vegetables.
Traditions: They light a candleholder called a kinara and exchange gifts.
http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/kwanzaa-history

Chinese New Year
Cultural or Religious Origin: China
Purpose: Celebrate the new year.
Symbols/Practices: Silk dragon in a grand parade is a symbol of strength. According to legend, the dragon hibernates most of the year, so people throw firecrackers to keep the dragon awake. Each new year is symbolized by a Zodiacal animal that predicts the characteristics of that year. 2016 will be the year of the monkey.
Traditions: Many Chinese children dress in new clothes. People carry lanterns and join in a huge parade led by a silk dragon. People take time off of work for seven days and celebrate the feast with family.
http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/chinese-new-year

Diwali
Cultural or Religious Origins: Hindu, India
Purpose: The festival of lights honors Lakshmi, India’s goddess of prosperity. It celebrates the inner light that protects all from spiritual darkness.
Symbols/Practices: Millions of lighted clay saucers with oil and a cotton wick are placed near houses and along roads at night.
Traditions: Women float these saucers in the sacred Ganges River, hoping the saucers will reach the other side still lit. Farmers dress up their cows with decorations and treat them with respect. The farmers show their thanks to the cows for helping the farmers earn a living.
http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/explore/diwali/

La Posada
Cultural or Religious Origins: Mexico and parts of Central America, Christian
Purpose: Reenacts the journey Joseph and Mary took to find shelter to give birth to their son, Jesus. It is a festival of acceptance asking, “Who will receive the child?”
Symbols/Practices: Candle light, song, prayer, actors dressing as Mary and Joseph
Traditions: People celebrate through song and prayer doing musical re-enactments of the journey. In Mexico and many parts of Central America, people celebrate La Posada in church during the nine days before Christmas. It is a reenactment of the journey Joseph and Mary took to find shelter before the birth of their child, Jesus. https://www.journeymexico.com/blog/posadas-in-mexico-christmas-tradition

Boxing Day
Cultural or Religious Origins: United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Holland
Purpose: To share gratitude and give to the poor.
Symbols/Practices: Alms boxes were placed in churches to collect donations for the poor.
Traditions: Servants were given the day off as a holiday. Charitable works are performed. And now major sporting events take place.
http://www.whychristmas.com/customs/boxingday.shtml

Ramadan and Eid al-Fitr
Cultural or Religious Origin: Islam, Muslim
Purpose: An entire month is spent re-focusing on Allah (God) and participating in self-sacrifice to cleanse the spirit.
Symbols/Practices: The crescent moon and a star are shown to indicate a month of crescent moons in the night sky. Participants pray daily in mosques. On Eid al-Fitr, they break the fast by dressing in their finest clothing, decorating homes with lights and decorations and giving treats to kids.
Traditions: Not only do celebrants abstain from food, drink, smoke, sexual activity and immoral behavior during the days of Ramadan, they also work to purify their lives by forgiving others and behaving and thinking in positive, ethical ways. They break their fast each day by eating with family and friends after sunset. Breaking the fast on Eid al-Fitr involves making contributions to the poor and gratefulness.
http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/ramadan

Omisoka
Cultural or Religious Origin: Japan
Purpose: This is the Japanese New Year.
Symbols/Practices: Thoroughly cleaning house to purify it.
Traditions: People remove any clutter and clean their homes to purify them for the new year. They have a giant feast with traditional foods. There’s a national talent competition. Bells ring at midnight and people go to pray at Shinto shrines.
http://www.kidzworld.com/article/26414-omisoka-japanese-new-year

St. Lucia Day
Cultural or Religious Origin: Sweden
Purpose: To honor a third-century saint who was known as a “bearer of light” through dark Swedish winters.
Symbols/Practices: With a wreath of burning candles worn on their heads, girls dress as Lucia brides in long white gowns with red sashes.
Traditions: The Lucia brides wake up their families by singing songs and bringing them coffee and twisted saffron buns called “Lucia cats.”
https://sweden.se/culture-traditions/lucia/

Christmas
Cultural or Religious Origin: Christianity and Secular
Purpose: To celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, believed by Christians to be the son of God. For the non-religious, the purpose is to give gifts, receive gifts from Santa Claus and celebrate with loved ones.
Symbols/Practices: Santa Claus who was originally named after St. Nicolas, a bishop in Turkey, who was a giver of gifts to children. The evergreen tree was originally a German tradition. The star is the guiding light that led to the animal manger where the baby was born.
Traditions: Presents are delivered in secret by Santa Claus on Christmas Eve while families are sleeping. Families and friends exchange gifts.
http://www.history.com/topics/christmas

This year, I discovered a beautiful new picture book on world holidays.

Happy holiday season!

Let’s Celebrate! Special Days Around the World by Kate DePalma and beautifully illustrated by Martina Peluso