By Guest Author Betty Weir

“Children fall in love with books because of the memories created when they snuggle up and read with someone they love.” – Raising Readers

I have been reading aloud to my three children (now ages 9, 9, and 5) on a nightly basis since the day they were born. When I began this routine, I was motivated by creating a nightly ritual that signaled bedtime, as well as bringing back stories like Goodnight Moon and The Very Hungry Caterpillar from my own childhood. There was something soothing about reading the books my mother had read aloud to me to my own children.

As my boys have grown, the bedtime books have evolved. There are now chapter books integrated into the mix. Sometimes one of the older boys reads to himself as I read aloud to the other. And just as the books have shifted and changed with time, so has the actual bedtime routine. In our household, a parent rarely escapes the child’s bed until that child is sound asleep. This phase, which has been going on for four years now, has had some tense moments. There is still an occasional night when I find them begging for “one more book!” or “one more chapter!” coming close to putting me over the edge.

But recently, I had a revelation: the time I spend reading aloud to my three sons is my favorite, most quality parenting time with them. It is the time I look forward to the most.  I feel connected with them as we experience the joys that accompany storytelling.

As I reflected as to why these moments are so meaningful to our family, here is what I came up with:

1. Reading Aloud Presents Opportunities To Teach Empathy

By selecting stories with characters who have different cultures, families, homes, experiences, etc. than ourselves, we gain valuable opportunities to teach our children perspective taking and empathy. This is especially important for children from dominant cultural groups. I am a straight, White, female raising three White boys. I see it as my responsibility to share stories with my children that provide them with a window into someone else’s world. Rudine Sims Bishop first wrote about the concept of using literature as a “window” in 1990. She observed, “[Children from dominant social groups] need books that will help them understand the multicultural nature of the world they live in, and their place as a member of just one group, as well as their connections to all other humans.”

When I read The Youngest Marcher: The Story of Audrey Faye Hendricks, A Youth Civil Rights Activist by Cynthia Levinson to my twins when they were six years old, they had a lot of questions. The story opened the “window” into young Audrey’s experience and perspective. My children were introduced to the concept of racial segregation and inequity through a story told in the perspective of a young, Black girl. 

I have also turned to picture books when my children have an experience that brings up questions. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have the words to address their questions in the moment. A picture book can provide content that allows children to discover information about human differences. For example, once we were swimming at a pool where a child with patches of different skin colors, known as vitiligo, was also playing. My children were curious, and wanted to know more about the appearance of the child’s skin. These questions tend to make us uncomfortable as adults, yet they are coming from a place of curiosity that can lead to a teachable moment. While I did not feel I had a good response for my children the moment they asked the question, I was able to find the book Skin Like Mine by Latashia M Perry. I used the content of the book to open a conversation about skin color and helped my children make the connection to the child they had seen at the pool.

How do I do this?

1. Find picture books or novels with characters with different backgrounds, races, family structures, cultures, religions, etc. than your child.
2. Read the book aloud to your child. Pause to ask if your child has questions about the story several times throughout.
3. Invite your child to reflect on how the characters in the story are feeling.
4. Provide space for your child to be curious and make sense of the story. 

2. Reading Aloud Helps Open Up Conversations About Real-Life Challenges Children Are Facing

“Literature transforms human experience and reflects it back to us, and in that reflection we can see our own lives and experiences as part of the larger human experience. Reading, then, becomes a means of self-affirmation.” (Bishop, 1990). 

Just as literature can serve as a window into someone else’s experience, it can also be a mirror into one’s own inner world. When my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, she went from being a caretaker central to my children’s lives to fighting for her own life and needing our family’s care. During this tumultuous time, I looked to children’s books to help me with getting my children to open up about how they were feeling and to show them that they were not alone in being faced with their grandparent’s mortality. 

I found the book, Big Tree Is Sick by Nathalie Slosse to take on the topic of cancer. When their grandma went into hospice care, we read Nana Upstairs, Nana Downstairs by Tomie diPaola and The Memory Box:  A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland. These especially helped my four year old with making sense of the abstract concept of death. 

There are so many wonderful picture books and novels that take on difficult topics that we face in our lives. If you need help finding a title that connects to a particular challenge your family is facing, your local librarian is a great place to start.

How do I do this?

1. Identify a challenge your child or family is facing.
2. Use the Internet or better yet, a local librarian, to find a book that your child can relate to.
3. Read the book with your child.
4. Pause to ask questions:
   1. “How do you think _______ is feeling? How can you tell?”
   2. “Have you ever felt like [the character] before? What was that like for you?”

3. Reading Aloud Provides A Still, Mindful Time to Bond with Children

My sons are always on the move and it is often difficult to find a time when they are still enough to have a conversation that lasts more than 30 seconds. When a book is opened and a story begins, I can feel my children settle and calm. They focus on the story, the pictures, the words. They ask questions: 

“Where is that mouse?!”

“What does [that word] mean?”

“Are the Greek gods real?” 

The mouse from Goodnight Moon, the Snuggle Puppy song, and The Little Blue Truck stories will always bring me back to sitting in the blue recliner rocking chair with a one year on my lap old filling in words I left out in the story (because we read the story so many times, they memorized it!). The bonds between parent and child that can be built during this special time are incredible.

How do I do this?

1. Identify a picture book or novel you love that you think your child will love, too.
2. Set aside time to read together for 10-15 minutes each day.
3. Let your child know how much you look forward to that time together and how special it is to you.

So, why read aloud with your child? It’s more than just the benefits of literacy learning. It creates special moments and deepens your bond with your child. It can help a child make sense of complex challenges they are faced with, as well as expose them to new perspectives. 

It is memorable. 

It is magical. 

References:

Bishop, R. S. (1990). Mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors. Perspectives: Choosing and Using Books for the Classroom, 6(3). The Ohio State University.

Betty Weir is currently the Director of Professional Learning at a K-8 district in Illinois. She has been a school principal and a middle school language arts teacher, as well. Much of her educational experience has centered around literacy and SEL education for children. She is an active parent with her own three sons and has daily opportunities to learn, grow, and repair with her children.

Part Two Next Week!

Next week, we take these ideas and further the discussion with guest author Tracy Nemecek’s ideas on how, through dialogue around reading and media consumption, we can build both social awareness and critical thinking skills.