The raucous sound of waves pounding and tiles breaking and hitting the floor echo through every corner of my little household as we remodel our only full bathroom that (can you believe I’m admitting this?) we haven’t renovated in the twenty years since we’ve lived in our home. I find myself running from library to home and back again trying to get my work done and attend to my teenager’s needs, mostly for a car to drive and accountability on the basics (like “did you eat breakfast?”). At home, the electric guitar screams and reverberates from the basement as my son attempts to learn every song from the 1980s to today. At the library, as I write, people are hovering around my library study room ready to pounce on the space. Summer chaos has arrived. And I know you have it too – just your very own brand.

Young children require constant tending as we organize playdates, tend to scraped knees, and clean out the dirt, sand, and other messes that constitute a “good” summer. For elementary-aged children, we insist that we are not their entertainment committee but yet, need to get them involved in organized activities, see friends, and get outside versus getting consumed by screens. So we schlep them to camps, to friends’ houses, to tutoring, to music lessons all in an effort to provide enrichment away from screens. If you have teens in your household, there may be power struggles over bedtimes, screen times, meal times, and more as they push for independence without responsibility and you push for more responsibility. And the intensity heightens without the consistent routines and structures of school. About this time each summer, we begin to get weary of the intense heat and the bugs. So too we, as caregivers, are getting weary with the lack of structure and the many roles we feel responsible for playing in the summertime.

But there is a remedy. No, it does not involve imagining you are back on vacation. Instead you can find it in the small moments between the running here and there if you so choose to find it. Summer stillness shimmers like rays of light peaking through the clouds…there, ever-present but not loud or waving in your face. Buried in screens or in household responsibilities, you will miss it. But if you become intentional about seizing summer stillness in those glistening moments where it’s possible, you will find the healing and renewal you are looking for. Not all at once, but cumulatively, over time, those moments build a foundation within you of resilience.

Summer stillness is…

• sitting outside and listening to all of the sounds of your surroundings – birdsong, breeze, traffic, children’s laughter, construction crews. Just listen. Be still. Appreciate the life you hear. If the “to do” list begins in your head, gently encourage it to float off.
• pausing at your desk amidst work. Closing your computer. Backing up in your chair and closing your eyes. Breathing in for a number of breaths. Being still.
• stopping in the kitchen. Placing your hands on the refrigerator or the countertops – someplace cool. Close your eyes and breathe.
• with the family before eating dinner. Pause together. Close your eyes. You can ask your family to visualize their most peaceful place. Breathe for three breathes. Yes, kids can do it!
• (with a little more time) go to water. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expansive. Just go to water. We have a pond in our neighborhood that I frequent. Stare at the water. Let it soothe you.
• (with a little more time) head to nature. Again, it doesn’t have to be immersive. Find a park nearby. Sit on a bench or at a picnic table. Shed your shoes and feel your toes in the grass. Notice the life – humans but also, squirrels, birds, chipmunks, deer – quietly busy living an existence you typically don’t notice. Take time to notice. And breathe the fresh air while you do.

These may seem simple to a fault. But in our busy lives, strategies need to be. The trick is setting the intention: “I will practice stillness for my well-being.” and then sticking to it through reminders (phone or device?) or a consistent routine (right after morning coffee? right after camp drop off?). Don’t let the summer pull you under the water until you are drowning. Make sure that you are finding those shimmering moments to float. As caregivers, our family needs us to be well. Yet, their needs can consume us. And it’s not okay for us to let them consume us. That’s why we need to be proactive about renewal.

May you find plenty of shimmering moments of summer stillness ahead in each day. And may they add up to a fullness of spirit. May that spirit enter into your caregiving to infuse life with creativity and laughter and presence.

Happy summer!