Though Confident Parents, Confident Kids typically takes a break in the summertime, we felt that it was particularly important this year to shout out PRIDE month and offer some valuable perspectives and also, resources. I asked the following questions and got a wealth of helpful information. I’m so grateful to the following experts/professionals who are also parents for offering their authentic experiences and wisdom here. 

1. How does it feel right now in this time in your life – as opposed to earlier in your life — in our nation and world — to be a part of the LGBTQIA family and raising a child/children?

Honestly, it feels complicated. I grew up in a time and place where being LGBTQIA meant keeping people guessing where it was safer not to be fully seen. We lived behind a kind of cultural curtain: tolerated, but never affirmed.

When marriage equality became law and protections were put in place, it felt like the world was finally catching up to our humanity. I felt hope, even momentum. But lately, it feels like we’re moving backward revisiting fears I thought we’d outgrown. I find myself questioning where we can safely travel, how public we can be, and what messages my family might receive just by being visible. It’s a strange thing: to be so proud of the family we’ve built, and yet still have to protect it in the most basic, everyday ways.

-Gerry

Ten years ago, I felt more hopeful. There was real momentum—marriage equality was affirmed, visibility was increasing, and it felt like we were finally being heard. But once political leaders realized they couldn’t defeat marriage equality, they shifted their attacks. Now, the focus is on gender identity and the rights of trans and nonbinary people, especially youth.

It’s important to understand that gender identity and the LGBTQIA+ community are deeply connected—our movement includes people of all identities and expressions. When any part of our community is under attack, the whole movement is under threat.

What’s even more disheartening is watching corporations, local governments, and schools—institutions that once publicly supported LGBTQIA+ rights—begin to quietly withdraw. Systems are defunding programs, pulling back services, and, in many cases, choosing silence or neutrality over justice. They are legislating or complying with hateful bills, abandoning their values because it’s easier than standing up and doing what’s right.

But none of this is new to us. Our history is built on resistance—on showing up, speaking out, and refusing to be erased. We’ve fought with literal blood, sweat, and tears at every turn. And we have to keep going. Now more than ever, it’s critical that we stay visible, have hard conversations, and live out loud in our everyday lives.

Our children are watching—and they deserve a world shaped by courage, not complacency.

-Lance

It feels unsafe and unpredictable. The most important thing for any parent is to keep their child safe and when government and a surging cultural movement are opposed to your child even existing, it feels extremely frightening and lonely. At the same time, we feel fortified that our unconditional love, acceptance, and celebration of our teen and their identity is making a difference because they are confident, thriving, and happy, even in the midst of an anti-LGBTQIA+ environment. 

– Pamela

2. What do you need from the larger parenting community in order to feel safe and cared for as a family – in the “village” doing the tough job of raising confident kids?

More than anything, we need intentional solidarity. We need parents who don’t just quietly “support” LGBTQIA families but who actively show up. Who speak up when something isn’t right. Who teach their kids that all families are valid, not just in theory but in practice at birthday parties, at school events, in everyday moments that either include us or erase us.

We need the village to be loud in its love, yes but also open in its invitation. We need safe spaces where understanding is pursued with curiosity, not judgment…where stories don’t have to be masked or edited to be palatable…where the hard parts can rise to the surface and be met with compassion instead of distance.

Sometimes it’s as simple and as profound as inviting someone to coffee or lunch and saying, “Tell me more.” Real conversations make room for real connection. And that’s where the village starts to feel like home.

– Gerry

Treat us the same as you would any other parent or family. We have far more in common than we do differences—truly. Like you, we’re doing our best to raise kind, resilient kids in a complicated world.

What we need from the village is simple: inclusion, not exception. Please talk to your children about how families come in all forms—some have one parent, some have two, some have two moms or two dads, and all are equally real and loving.

And maybe ask your child if they know of any classmates whose families look different from their own. That small question opens the door to empathy and awareness—and it’s often where the most important conversations begin.

Also, teach your kids the power of their words. Words can include or exclude. They can create safety or harm. Helping children understand the impact of language—and the value of kindness—goes a long way in building a stronger, more compassionate community for all of our families.

– Lance

The larger parenting community needs to understand our journey raising an LGBTQIA+ is not the same as theirs. For us, every interaction is potentially fraught: every class, activity, or appointment is an opportunity for bias, bigotry, and/or hate to be directed toward our children.* I frequently have to ask questions in advance to make sure my non-binary, gay child will be kept safe by adults and the answer is sometimes “no.” That restricts my child’s access to activities other parents may not think twice about sending their children to. I also need to coach my child around what they can and can’t safely say about their identity in some settings for their own physical safety. Where you live really impacts these experiences, so for those parents in small towns or rural areas, check in with parents of queer kids to see how they’re doing. This is an exhausting and scary time for us. 

Understanding that often the harm comes from adults not other children is important, too, and acting in solidarity with parents of LGBTQIA+ children to call out biased or hateful behavior, even when it’s difficult, is so appreciated. 

When it comes to your own children, raising them to be inclusive and welcoming is critical but more than that, teaching your children to be an active upstander when they see or hear a child who is (or is presumed to be) part of the LGBTQIA+ community being excluded or mistreated. 

*parents of color share that they can feel the same way – that they have to assess if a situation is safe for their child – and I want to acknowledge that. 

-Pamela

3. For parents who need more information or support, what sources would you recommend?

Some of the organizations recommended by our parents here include:

The following continue to be incredible resources for everything from policy updates to personal stories to guides on talking to kids about identity and inclusion.

Family Equality

The Trevor Project

Strong Family Alliance

PFLAG Welcoming Schools – has great material for navigating school environments

Gender Spectrum – is a thoughtful space for learning about gender-inclusive parenting.

Trans Youth Equality Foundation

Human Rights Campaign; Supporting Trans-gender, Non-binary, and Gender Expansive Children

Sometimes the most helpful resource isn’t a website but it’s a local parent you can actually talk to. Find your people. They’re out there. – Gerry

Family Equality, The Trevor Project, PFLAG, Welcoming Schools, and Gender Spectrum are national organizations. I am located in Columbus, Ohio and have found several local organizations who offered tailored support including:

• Stonewall Columbus: Central Ohio’s LGBTQ+ community center provides support groups, counseling services, and family-focused programming through initiatives like the Family Pride Network. stonewallcolumbus.org+3fcchurch.com+3womensplace.osu.edu+3
• PFLAG Columbus: Offers support, education, and advocacy for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, with regular meetings and resources specific to the Columbus area. womensplace.osu.edu
• Kaleidoscope Youth Center (KYC): Focuses on LGBTQ+ youth aged 12–20, providing a drop-in center, leadership programs, and support services in Columbus. kycohio.org+1fcchurch.com+1
• Equitas Health: A nonprofit healthcare system offering LGBTQ+-affirming primary care, behavioral health services, and HIV/STI testing in Columbus. fcchurch.com
• Equality Ohio: Advocates for legal and lived equality for LGBTQ+ Ohioans, providing legal resources and support for families navigating discrimination or policy challenges.

These organizations offer a range of services—from healthcare and legal assistance to community support and youth programs—specifically designed to support LGBTQ+ families in the Columbus area. So check out versions of these in your area and see if there’s a chapter.

School-based affinity groups or parenting networks can also be incredibly meaningful, especially when they’re grounded in shared lived experiences. And don’t underestimate the impact of a therapist or family counselor who affirms LGBTQIA+ identities—mental health support isn’t optional, it’s foundational. – Lance

4. Are there any children’s or teen books that you love that could help?

This is a combined list of go-to favorites:

• And Tango Makes Three – A classic that normalizes different types of families with heart. Based on the true story of two male penguins raising a chick together at the Central Park Zoo.  
• Julián Is a Mermaid – A beautifully illustrated book about self-expression and acceptance.
• Red: A Crayon’s Story – A clever metaphor about being mislabeled and the freedom of authenticity.
• It Feels Good to Be Yourself – An inclusive, affirming picture book about gender identity.
• George (middle grade) – A sensitive and honest story about a trans girl navigating identity.
• Papa’s Coming Home (for young children) – Depicts a normal, loving family with two dads but isn’t focused on that element of their family.

Books like these don’t just help queer kids feel seen they help all kids become better allies and more empathetic humans.

– Gerry

Check out PFLAG’s List of Coming Out Books

Many thanks to Gerry, Lance and Pamela!