…Can Ensure School-Year Round Success
Though you may have been back to school a week or two by now, the adjustment in family life continues. Indeed, educators like to consider the first six weeks of school as the amount of time necessary to help everyone adjust and transition. This can be an ideal time to not only begin to teach content, but even more importantly, it’s a time in which to help children learn about and get to know each other (classmates, teachers, administrators, lunch staff, and more), and teach them about the rules, routines, and cultural habits of school. Simultaneously, we can be taking steps in our own family lives to reshape our routines, habits, and connections with our school community. As we feel the excitement and anticipation of the days to come, we can use that energy at home to orient our family to new ways of being in the school year that promote habits conducive to the critical learning that will be taking place.
The following are some of our top ideas for helping our families make a smooth transition and also, take the time to set up for success all year long. Because we are in the midst of a major transition, acknowledging endings is important while also celebrating and paving the way to new beginnings. Though school has already begun, we are still experiencing intense heat during our school days which can feel like the middle of summer. Labor Day is almost upon us. Be sure you acknowledge this ending.
Ritualize Saying Goodbye to Summer.
Summer days are so sweet and fleeting. Perhaps you spend precious family time laughing and enjoying one another in ways that may not occur as often during the hustle of the school year. As a family, find a way to say goodbye to summer. It could be as simple as sharing an ice cream sundae indulgence, toasting with lemonade to the good times you’ve enjoyed, or lighting a ceremonial campfire in the backyard. My husband proposed sharing a slideshow of seasonal photos with the grandparents. While you are savoring those last summer moments, take a moment to reflect on some of your happiest times over the last few months. When did you laugh the most? What were your favorite moments on your travels or local adventures? What animals or plants did you encounter? What activities do you want to repeat next summer? If your school year has already begun, the Labor Day weekend offers a natural opportunity to create a way to have one final appreciation of summer.
Set Up your Home Conditions for a Season of Learning.
After finding a way to reflect and enjoy summer’s end together, how will you anticipate all that is positive about starting the school year? In addition to new tools including the fresh smell of a new box of crayons and razor sharp Ticonderoga twos, there are friends with whom to reconnect or perhaps new friends to be made. Haul out a few projects from last year and display them once again to remind your child of the success she has already experienced in school. Take time together to set up a homework spot or place for reading or studying that has the proper tools, books, and paper that will be needed. Make sure it’s well-lit and has a hard surface for writing. If your child has the opportunity to decorate that learning space (make signs or a name plate), so much the better. If you helping with the space design, consider include a feelings list or poster nearby to work on self awareness. Your child will be excited to use the space you’ve designed when they need it.
Discuss and Role Play Frustrations with Homework.
Homework will be a reality of your child’s school year and so will frustration with homework. One way you can prepare for those inevitable challenging times is to work on a plan for those big emotions. You might chat together considering the following questions with your family:
- When do you tend to get frustrated with homework?
- How does that experience feel in your body?
- How do you typically respond? Do you continue your work or find it difficult to continue?
- What helps you feel better? If you typically haven’t had a plan for feeling better, what could you do that could help you feel better?
Record your child’s ideas and have other family members chime in with their ideas too. Keep those ideas handy so that when those circumstances arise, you can refer to your family’s good ideas. With younger children (or older!), do a reenactment of a time when your child got frustrated and then, practice doing one of your “feel better” ideas to see if it will work. These rehearsals can go a long way toward promoting emotional competence throughout the school year.
Co-create your Morning Routine.
Part of the annual preparations in our house for the school year is the creation of the morning routine poster. This doesn’t need to occur before school begins but in those first few weeks starting back, it’s an ideal time to go over it so that the opportunities and challenges are fresh in the minds of all family members. Going over your morning routine can offer great comfort to a child who has not gotten up at the crack of dawn or needed to get dressed and move quickly for months. Don’t expect that they will snap back into the routine easily. Pave the way by discussing how your morning will progress together. Find out what your children’s expectations and hopes are. Writing down your child’s routine formalizes it and helps provide a reminder to return to if there are struggles in those early days of school. Consider that this one simple area could be your family’s biggest contribution to learning during the school day. For more on simple ways to plan for better mornings with kids, check out the video short, “A Smooth Morning Routine”.
Listen with an Open Heart and Mind.
Show that you are open and willing to listen for their feelings without judgment during this time of transition. Children will be more likely to share their worries. Offer what feelings you think you hear behind their expressions and ask if you’ve captured what they are truly experiencing. Assure your child that building friendships, getting to know teachers, understanding school rules all take time. They aren’t expected to figure it all out in a day. Allow space and grace for the process and the discomfort involved with beginnings and your child will find breathing space in their transition.
Express Confidence.
Because worries may run at a fever pitch this time of year, tell stories of persistence from your child’s past. Find ways to show your confidence in your child’s ability to meet any challenge by digging in and working hard. Emphasize hard work as a family value, one that all members are engaged in with their work and schooling. Reinforce ways to introduce yourself and make new friends to offer additional confidence when social anxiety strikes. Also, clue your child into becoming more socially aware. Discuss the fact that others around your child – peers and teachers alike – will show signs of nervousness too. When your child gets worried, coach her to invest her energy in empathizing with others and making others comfortable by enjoying the moment and she may just forget her worries altogether.
Introduce Yourself to your Child’s Teacher.
These first few weeks of school offer an important opportunity for connection with your child’s teacher. Beginning that relationship as soon as possible in a positive way will contribute to further communications and ultimately, your child’s success in the classroom so it’s worth the effort. Stick around during drop off or pick up. Extend a handshake, a smile and wishes for a great year ahead. These first interactions will pave the way for future partnership. For more on ways to initiate a partnership with your child’s teachers as a parent, check out “The Most Important Relationship To Build This School Year.”
Taking steps to prepare your children by creating rituals and celebrations, through initiating organization and reflection, and by showing of empathy for their situation and the accompanying mix of emotions can all contribute to a sense of safety and security in the midst of change. Not only will it help create smooth transitions during each day for your family, but it will also allow your children to enter the school year with an open mind and heart to experience the joy and possibility of learning.